Ways to Avoid Having Sex with Assholes- part 9

Don't Fall in Love with Them....

I have an ex, fuck, I have lots of ex's.... Some I keep in contact with, some I wish an untimely death upon, and some that just disappeared into the horizon of time and non caring... I have one, that I once upon a time loved a great deal, but he was nothing but drama, drugs, and disease.... He was sexy as hell, and he could get me to do things I never thought I would do. He would look at me with those piercing blue eyes, and I would just melt at his feet. We met on a blind date, matched up through a friend, who thought we would might like each other. I walked into the bar, saw him sitting slumped in his chair, this great cloud of arrogance hovered around him,visible even to the naked eye. I walked up, he didn't bother to greet me, just held his arm out as if to beckon me onto his lap. I sat down, slightly unsure, slightly nervous, for this boy had that sorta of dangerous charm that made my knees weak. He wrapped his arm around my waist and buried his face into my hair, gently kissing my neck, he whispered, "you are perfect." I was soo smitten.. I smiled, playfully biting my bottom lip, I stroked his face with my hand and leaned in for the kiss. It was a kiss that lasted three years, three years I was completely lost in him.. I supported him through a struggling career, I held him in cold sweats coming off your drug of choice. I picked him up when he laid face down in his own vomit and piss. I watched him rise to stardom it was fun even if only for a minute, and stood proudly in the sidelines... I looked the other way when girls would call our house or when he smelled of perfume and pussy. I threw myself into the rock star girlfriend role, I loved him beyond the definition of love. I was young.... I was confused..... I had no sense of me, and no real sense of self esteem. I lived for those calls from the road, I clipped all the articles, sat in his lap during off takes for videos and jumped into his sweat dripping arms after shows. Eventually, I sorta woke from the dream, packed my bags and I left all the lonlieness, hurt and drama behind. I left all of rock and roll behind, actually. I started new, and until this blog, rarely mentioned those days. I didn't want to be some one's groupie anymore, even if I was the main one... I wanted to be more than a just a piece of ass, to someone. The boy in mention keeps in touch here and there, I get the random email, or phone call - sorta just making sure the other is alive type of thing. He never really says anything, he really never reaches out.. but the email I got last night said:

I have been reading your blog, it is funny. I especially like the groupie shit.... you were a wild one.... I have been trying to figure the whole time line on those things, anything you want to share Lo?? I can see how they all fell for you, you have these amazing eyes. Big brown eyes, and when you kind of tilt your head down, you do this thing when you look up. I don't know how to explain it but it is the sexiest thing I have ever seen. Plus you have those great lips, big pouty sexy lips. You are good about making someone feel like they are the only one, like no existed before them and no ever could after. Sometimes I miss you, if I hadn't treated you so bad, would we still be together or is it ever in the cards we could be together again? what do you think?

Funny, that came at just the right time, made me feel pretty... girls like that kind of shit... but as far as I am concerned, ex's are ex's for a reason. This one, for more like a million reasons... I know he will read this and understand. He will know why I couldn't just answer in a simple email. He understands my need for closure and will respect my need to question it, explain it and leave it in the past, where it belongs... but the email did take me back a few years for a few flashbacks down memory lane... I had a good ride, but it was indeed time to get off.....