I hate it when real people find me on Myspace...

I mean, I guess it is the point of it all, right... Blah, I will stick to imaginary friends and rock stars, my basic attitude is: if I don't know you anymore, it is cuz I don't want to know you! Enter Dawn, I hate Dawn I think I have always hated Dawn.. Even though she was once my friend and even for a spell my roommate, I can indeed look back over the span of it all and I say I have always hated Dawn. Little bitch that she is, found my ass and sent me a cute little email:

Wow, _________ I found you! I always wondered what happened to you.. Remember me, it's Dawn, we worked at Uhaul together, you were such a slut back then!! Then we lived together for a little while. Although, I am sure you would rather forget that, I know I would.. Well, how are you?

Dawn

For the record, I wasn't a slut.. We worked at the corporate offices for Uhaul- we always hired the hottest guys. I was a trainer, and I tended to take my work ummmm home with me... Ok, I slept with one, but I hooked up with a plenty. Now hooking up in my book does not include sex or blow jobs. Hooking up includes kissing, some feel up action and maybe even some light fingering... so technically I wasn't a slut... (so there...) Now granted the one I did fuck, I did so in the stairwell at work and kinda got caught by the security cameras, got reamed by my boss and had to let him play with my titties to avoid getting fired.. but that doesn't make me a slut. That just makes me inpatient.. I couldn't wait for break so I said fuck it, lemme give ya the tour...

Anyways, Dawn was hired the same time as me, and quickly grew into a decent club buddy.. She was semi attractive (a tiny lil thing but her head always struck me as too big for her body) and could handle her alcohol but she was always a bit moody and her voice grated on me. We decided to be roomies and all was cool, for a while.. once in a while she would approach me with strange little questions and accusations...

Dawn: I know you drank my orange juice!
Me: I can't drink citrus, I have problems with ulcers, you know that...
Dawn: Whatever, I measure it everyday, and today it is lower..
Me: that is nuts, it wasn't me...

Dawn: I know you ate a piece of my bread
Me: opening the fridge and pointing out, that I have my very own loaf of bread- dude, seriously I have my own..
Dawn: well I have one piece less today than I did last night, it is ok, you don't have to lie..
Me: that's fucking ridiculous I'm walking away...

Everyday same thing, weird little accusations that made no sense. It eventually turned into little girl wars, with us not speaking and playing the avoidance game. A couple months later she announced she was moving out, and relief was in sight.. but she couldn't stop with all the talking...

Dawn: I know you used my razor..
Me: Fuck, what is wrong with you, we have separate bathrooms, do you really think I went through your room, into your bath and used your razor??
Dawn- well you are sketchy like that...
Me: For fuck's sake, just go... you need help..

She moved out, left a royal mess, and left me with all the rent- I couldn't be happier... It was such trivial bullshit, but to be accused of strange ass shit everyday, eventually got to me. I can't live in paranoia land- it is an unfriendly place.. My next roommate was even worse, a total mustache wearin, blow job passin out whore... but that is another story for another time...

A couple years later I ran into Dawn. I worked at the WIC clinic in central Phoenix. I was walking from the parking lot after lunch when I spotted her exiting the free clinic which was next door. She tried to act like she didn't see me, but being a tad bit shady and feeling a little empowered, I walked right up to her to say hello...

Dawn- ohh you here for the clinic..

Me- no sweetie, I work here, but looks like someone is burnin...

Dawn- ummm, no, well, ummmm long story.. anyways I will give you a holler one of these days...

Me-naaah, that is cool, don't, we really don't have anything to talk about....

and that was the end of that.... Ten years later, I can still imagine her bobble head, saying I know you, ate my peanut butter, bitch knowing damn well I am allergic to peanuts... I deleted the myspace mail... I can not deal with that again... silly little shit....