I woke up this morning at 2 am to mourn the loss of yet another year. I loathe birthdays.... Fuck, I am now 35, and feeling half way to death. I laid there thinking about the graph chart that is my career, the highs and lows peaking in dramatic fashion. This year, the chart dipping below the line, making me feel useless and unmotivated. I laid there thinking, damn I am all alone in this bed. Relationship after relationship fucked and seemingly unsalvageable. I laid there thinking about all the missed opportunities and all the mistakes. I laid there thinking that I have accomplished like none of the goals I had for myself. I laid there knowing this birthday like all birthdays would be just like any other day, nothing special, no presents, no moments that would outshine all the rest. So after a few moments of feeling sorry for myself, I cuddled up to my pillow, wiped away my tears and went back to sleep.I woke up this morning, to my kids singing Happy Birthday to me, although they can't fix everything, they can really put a smile on my face. Their little faces are all I need to forget all the rest. They made me cards last night, and were eager to give them to me. They really are the loves of my life.
I washed my face and looked in the mirror, thinking mmmm pretty ok for 35. No grey hair (yet), no wrinkles (yet..) and still looking cute sporting a tiny tank top (no underarm flab wings yet.....) The titties are holding up, (no dramatic droop yet...) looking pretty ok if I do say so myself.... So although I am a bit depressed about getting old, at least I don't look it. (yet...)
I checked my email and had already received my first birthday email from one of my favorite people on the planet, so that is a good sign... This one always puts a little smile on my face...
Maybe today will be a good day after all... Maybe the man of my dreams will ride up on a silver stallion, maybe VH1 will give me a call offering me my own show, maybe that lottery ticket will be a winner, maybe there will be a rockin Trans Am with Nick Lachey sitting on the hood all wrapped up in a red ribbon will be parked in the driveway and maybe I stop being delusional.
Ohh well, it really is just another day......... whatever the case Happy Birthday to Me!!!!!
22 comments:
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HÄÄÄÄÄPPPPIIIII BIRTHDAY (or like Germans would say "Alles Gute zum Geburtstag!")
No dramas on birthday. It's just like any other day and no milestone for your life, cauz it's not digital. Innit? ;)
Just to make you feel better: I already have grey hair. Some at least.
You're wonderful the way you are and everythings good and will be even better!
Happy Birthday, kiddo.
Have a drink on me...
Happy Birthday Kiddo.
Have a drink of me...
lol >:)~
Hey did you get my card? It took me 2 hours to find that sucker! my boyfriend walked in half way through the list of massive penis cards and he turned around and walked right out lookin all dejected.
so happy birthday you hot bitch you! and remember... you now have the right to employ a hot Cabana Boy for cheap. :p
you want me to do WHAT to your ass? is that some kind of american street slang?
Bubbly Theater- thank you sweetie! Yes, it does indeed make me feel better knowing you are already going grey.... but I still love you anyways....
Skincarver- yes, I think I need lots of drinks... I will send you my visa bill..
Yasamin- yes I got the card babes- when that little hamster whipped out the full on bondage suit, I spit my tea all over the desk- thanks... that was awesome....
Puck- ohh I want you to lots of naughty little things to me!
But none of them involve Kareem Abdul Jabar. And no that is not slang for anything- completly irrelevant blog title. I had a slutty neighbor once who used to brag all the time that she once slept with him. She always went out of her way to piss me off- much like this birthday.....
Happy Birthday, puddin. Your "mixed tape" is on its way ;-)
I haven't been reading long, but I hope Happy Birthday from a stranger means a little something.
gellukige verjaarsdag! thats happy birthday in afrikaans.:)
i hate birthdays too, im mortally afraid of getting droopy titties. nothing like droopy titties to sober a person up...
Happy birthday! May you have all the fun and debauchery you rightly deserve.
Happy birthday, you smoking hot, sexy thing.
Hmmm...I didn't email you? And, I'm your favourite person -- so, what you talking about? ;)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! YOU LOOK FABULOUS DAHLING!!!
Happy birthday Shroom!
And i know what i want for my next birthday! I'll have to steal half your fantasy. Nick Lachey on a mustang or a jaguar will do it. Or just waering the plasma tv I wanted.
Damn my late night writing! I just now ran across this post.
A day late, but happy birthday little sock-monkey goddess, I hope you had a good one!
Reese- thanks babe- lookin forward to the mix tape...
samuraifrog- sure it means tons!! thanks....
syandiedtoday- thanks shorty.. yes, indeed droopy tits are my ultimate fear, I got me a little breast augmentation piggy bank.. girls got have a back up plan ya know....
tumuli- alas it was a pretty mellow birthday, no mud wrestling, no orgies, not even some heavy petting, well unless you count some hot n heavy cyber sex, but I always get that.....
Creepy- awwwww thanks, sweets...
Haley O- you my fave person??? whatcha talking about Haley???? You are on my top ten, fer sure! I am pretty fab, aren't I....
Jilly- I can assure you hon, if I got a hold of Nick Lachey he would be plenty worn out and he would ,more like slumped over your jaguar, from exhaustion..... but for sure you can have him after I am done.....
Mob- better late than never....
You're mad because I missed your birthday aren't you? Sorry, I was busy trying to remember where my Grecian formula was and when I found that, I couldn't remember what I did with my trowel. You know how hard it is to put polyfilla in all those wrinkles by hand? Happy Birthday Monkey.
Hey, Happy Birthday! Enjoy the little monkeys. They are the most pure form of love you will ever know on this earth. Personally, when I crossed the 40 hurdle, I felt a new freedom. I am more happy with myself now than I have ever been. I'm done beating myself up. Enjoy the good stuff and forget about the bad stuff.
Ah Shrooms, I'm a day late ... please forgive - you know that I'll make it up to you anyway.
But seriously babe,
HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY!!!
Delusional? Not delusional. I would SO love to see you on VH1!
Fuck. I knew I had somethig to do on Monday. Sorry I missed it, but happy Birthday anyway.
Just remember: 35 is the new 21.
Dale- You were totally in the wrong and no excuse will excuse you... you made me ever sooo sad....
Tenecious S- yes lil ones give you all they got, without thinking whooo I am showing too much of me. I spent my day with them, and everytime I looked even the slightest sad, they were all quick with the hugs and kisses.. Gotta love em!
Sherry- ummm No birthday nookie... all your fault....just kidding- thanks chica.
Slaygirl- I would rock the casbah on VH1!
Christopher- awwwwww, you forgot about me too..... all my luvs don't really love me.... (wiping away the tears...)
Happy birthday, you shroom-a-licious babe!
Without you, where would I go to be completely entertained? You do need your own show. Fuck Howard Stern. You need the Shroom Monkey show.
You need to set out some immediate, short-term and long-term goals and get working on them... today! You'll be amazed what you can achieve in such a short time. And considering we are the same age... you still have a long way to go. Cheer up. You have your beautiful kiddies to prove to you that you belong.
and no disrespect to my neighbour, Haley-O, (or colleague Angela) but I thought I was your favourite Canadian?!?
Happy birthday again, hottie!
Speakeasy- wow, that is one of the best and coolest B day wishes that I got.. Thanks, you know, all day I sat there thinking I was half way to death, and then later after numerous trips to the gym to kill off all the negative energy that seemed to be surrounded me, I got the clarity I was needing. It is now or never- time to make all the dreams I had come true... thanks for the support and encouraging words- you totally made my day!!
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