There are those rare moments of clarity, when you truly realize that people are indeed total shits.... You invest months and months of time, effort, thoughtful words, support, encouragement, compliments, small talk, long talk, all sorts of talk, and at the end of it all you get what????? ladies and gentlemen you get Nada... there is nothing to be gained from putting your heart out there... not unless you count the meat grinder and enough tears to flood a small town.... You get that sudden and amazing knock you down and out, sort of loss... Loss felt even though you thought you were wearing your "you can't hurt me" armor... a 6 whole days before the nose tips to the sky, I'm sorry to disappoint luv, it was never meant to be, I have fallen head over heals in love with another, with someone of proximital value and hopefully weeks maybe even months, possibly turn into years of proximatal sex and good times as opposed to difficult and impossible to contemplate relations and a weekend fling type thing.... but who could blame him, not I said the owl, but the owl is wise beyond her years and has learned that special flickers of spark only come around once in a blue moon and they should have the notice that they deserve.. but fuck it done is done, said is said.... Once encouraged to be a romantic, I scoff at the notion as I sit well eyed and feeling a bit destroyed.... once said, never let them kick it out of you, wonder if he knew he would be the one to deliver that final kick... Romance, bollocks... Love, nonsense... A reality girl would never have let herself fall for an online diary... a reality girl would never have booked a ticket sight unseen... a reality girl would have been sooo impulsive and dumb.... the reality girl inside of me, knew it, it felt too good, it felt to fairy tale to be true... that usually means it is going to shit at some point... and alas it did..... blah.... so forever single and heartbroken, think I am gonna get that tattoo'd across my ass....
shame, I liked him, I really liked him..........
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10 comments:
what the...
what happened?! Catch me on MSN.
Hug.
I'm sorry, Shroomstress :(
If it makes you feel any better - if I wasn't married I'd so do you...
:)
You are amazing!
Hey, I'm sorry to hear your heart's been knocked around again, but the tattoo sounds like a jinx all the way around.
Hope ya feel better.
I hate hippy bullshit, but I do believe we collect experiences for a reason...good and bad. they make us who we are and hopefully we learn something each time.
The tattoo's a bad idea unless you maybe do it in henna or something.
You want it temporary because this thing is. Someone's gonna come along and see you for what you are and sweep you off of your feet. Hopefully I'll be around to say, "Ha! In your face!":P
Like Bob says, everything's gonna be alright...
Roentgen- shit, I really don't know what the hell happened.... catch me on MSN we will talk...
LoudMouthBitch- thanks sweetie... you are awesome too!!!!
Mob- no worries on the tat front, I love the many I have, but I am not gonna advertise my total suckdom... one day it will turn around for me, one day....
Skincarver- awwww, yeah Bob knew a little something huh.... the only man gonna sweep me off my feet appears to be those damn little Guatemalans they got cleaning the store at night, and only because they don't watch where they are going with that damn dust mop...
Skincarver has it right.
Few things worth having are found without risk.
You will rise from these ashes and it will have been worth it.
Shroom .... does this mean your holiday is cancelled?
I hope not. You could at least get some shopping done over there.
Talk to you later, babe.
If you don't go, I'll smack you silly. You need to claim the trip for yourself.
Al Sensu- see, here is the thing, this was my big risk... my year to seize the moment, follow the current and see where it takes me and I got burnt... bad....
Reese- naaahhh, gonna still go, and stalk the fucker... figure in between following him around I can dive into every retail establishment and grab me some digs.. then as he turns into a dark alley, gonna tazer his ass till he pisses himself...
Garrett- I'm going, I'm going... thanx for being friend... will you still smack me silly, you know how I luv that! ha, ha, ha...
Shroomie - OMG!!!
What the fuck happened???
I'm angry for you. That is so NOT nice. You need to be as angry as you can, and then relax enough to enjoy a trip to a wonderful place. London rocks! Lots to do, lots to see, even if you spend a fair amount of time near your hotel or in your room, remember that you can always call your kiddies - they'll be just fine - or pick up a book and read.
I think this whole concept of finding love online is overrated. I met my wife online but we lived a few streets away from each other at the time. Better to keep it in state. You don't need this shit. Damn him!
If there was any way I could help, you know I would. Take this cyber hug, and have an awesome trip.
Take a taxi from the airport, unpack your thongs and let it all hang out. Just be careful at night.
Have fun!
Remember: What goes around cums around.
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