Ohh I'm sorry, have I neglected the blog.... I will never leave all my little whores again. Was there no one to jerk you off this week??? No worries babes I am back... get the lube and the Kleenex ready for me.
I took a little vacay down to sunny Florida for a much needed break. Hit the beach, got that last tan of the season, scammed on the surfers, flirted with the hot lifeguards, ate some great seafood, shook my money maker for the hotties at the clubs, and umm managed to get absolutely no action.. What the fuck??? I think it was the little moochers I brought along- constantly messing with my game. Kids are such cock blockers- plus if they asked me one more time, "Mommy is that my Daddy?" I was gonna freak...
Took the monkeys down to Saint Augustine and checked out the Alligator Farm, we walked around with our best faux accents saying, "that is the biggest croc I have ever seen!!" Who knew poor Steve Irwin would bite the big one the next day... Well I gotta say, I will miss his crazy enthusiasm!
I have missed all sorts of crazy news this week.... Baby Suri was revealed.... You know what, I think she is pretty darn cute... Gwen Stefani is coming out with a line of "rock and roll" dolls that look that total crap. What happened to the cute little ska girl I loved in No Doubt? She has become a cartoon parody of herself... Paris Hilton gets busted for drunk driving- if she didn't blurt out some racial slurs and hateful crap- I could care less. Jessica Simpson is dating John Mayer (beauty and the geek) and Lindsay Lohan got her Birken bag stolen in London... Like I said super important crazy news.....
I took a little vacay down to sunny Florida for a much needed break. Hit the beach, got that last tan of the season, scammed on the surfers, flirted with the hot lifeguards, ate some great seafood, shook my money maker for the hotties at the clubs, and umm managed to get absolutely no action.. What the fuck??? I think it was the little moochers I brought along- constantly messing with my game. Kids are such cock blockers- plus if they asked me one more time, "Mommy is that my Daddy?" I was gonna freak...
Took the monkeys down to Saint Augustine and checked out the Alligator Farm, we walked around with our best faux accents saying, "that is the biggest croc I have ever seen!!" Who knew poor Steve Irwin would bite the big one the next day... Well I gotta say, I will miss his crazy enthusiasm!
I have missed all sorts of crazy news this week.... Baby Suri was revealed.... You know what, I think she is pretty darn cute... Gwen Stefani is coming out with a line of "rock and roll" dolls that look that total crap. What happened to the cute little ska girl I loved in No Doubt? She has become a cartoon parody of herself... Paris Hilton gets busted for drunk driving- if she didn't blurt out some racial slurs and hateful crap- I could care less. Jessica Simpson is dating John Mayer (beauty and the geek) and Lindsay Lohan got her Birken bag stolen in London... Like I said super important crazy news.....
My fave, fave, fave story... Danger Mouse and Banksy Burn Paris
Check out this Genius
14 comments:
Really? My little girl gets me much action. Nothing like a baby to bring the honey. "No sweetie, really, I don't mind watching her. She can go the store with Daddy!".
Glad you had fun. We went to Ft. Walton last summer. Florida rocks.
I missed you! :) I actually really missed you! Back in full x-rated force, though, I see! ;)
Yeah. Totally. I mean: fuck baywatch. Make it monkeywatch.
Welcome back Shroomy, hope you enjoyed your foray into my state.
I think kids only help guys attract lovers -- they make us look sensitive and responsible. Guys see a woman with kids and think BAGGAGE!
Holy shit, I thought you were dead.
Welcome back, Shroomy.
skincarver- yeah it seems to work for the guys, doesn't it.... But honestly I see a guy with a baby I think, ohh shit somewhere out there is a baby's momma and that meanns DRAMA....
Haley O- awwww thanks babe, I will be violating your new gig soon enough...
BubblyTheater- ohh yeah I am all about the slow mo run along the beach...
Creepy- Florida has nothing on Cali in my eyes but since it is only a day's drive away makes for a good little vacay.
Mob- thanks for thinking I was dead.. fucker...
"Cock blockers"
ha ha, good one.
Hey Ho, I'm back to love your loveliness. That artist guy is awesome - and he's English! I'm very proud. I hope the woman to the right in the red clothes is actually you. I could do with being taped up by a dark haired temptress with enourmous breasts!
You've been busy! Great template by the way, the pink is feminine and the black is sexy. Just like you.
Glad your back Shroom Monkey. Saw a a pic of baby Suri that looked like she was wearing a toupee. Cute enough if she just lost the rug. Love No Doubt Gwen Stefani, hope she comes back to us soon. yeah, could care less about Paris. Love the pic you did up for the blog btw. How would she feel being her dog?
Welcome back!
Your honesty was sorely missed.
Were you gone? Don't kid yourself, I checked here every damned day. Selfish monkeys taking you away.
Loved the Danger Mouse antics myself. We need more of this stuff going on.
hi its puck, bloggers being a bitch
not sure how i feel about this banksy stuff.
Paris strikes me as too easy of a target, and plus isnt it a teensy bit hypocritical for banksy to "punk" someone cashing in on their celebraty status when he, himself let the indie pop band Blur cash in on his underground counter culture status by providing the ablum art and poster merchandising for their album "think tank".
let he who is not a sell out bitch whore cast the first stone
Reese- hell I hate to say it but for us girls, a bunch of little hellions running around tends to keep the boys at bay... ohh well I will stick to my internet boy toys- they are ever soo cute and whenever they give me too much lip-I just delete em...
Miroslav- about time gerbil boy- where the fuck have you been?? Ohh yeah right trapped in your disaster of a blog- I am sooo glad you changed it!
Angela- thanks baby cakes! you know how it goes- that summer sun beckons.....
Slaygirl- hey welcome back to you as well!! I missed ya! I love baby Suri- she is a cutie... Yeah Paris annoys me... I just don't get it.....
Tumuli- dude, my computer will not let me on your blog- some error message always pops up! it is a total bummer..
Dale- we need more joksters... We do.. More pranks and more little jokseys to ease this seriousness that the celebrity world has created for itself.
Puck- Blogger is a bitch! You know what, I totally did not know any of that stuff- but you make a good point... a very good point...
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