I Once Sexually Harassed a CoworkerWell this is a complicated story but one I always felt my name should be cleared of. So if anyone at the free clinic in Phoenix is reading- yeah this is about you, you uptight fuckers! I worked in a clinic helping ease the pain of all the poor degenerates who roam the hooker heavy streets of Van Buren, handing out little shots, some friendly words and a couple useless pamphlets all to help ease the burning. Anyways, although I enjoyed doing my little part in making the world a better place, I also enjoyed paying my bills so had to take a second job. The Circle K didn't pay shit, so I went to the Castle, the Porn Castle of Love and I made a shit load of extra dough shrink wrapping dirty magazines, arranging dildo displays and having vibrator races across the counter. It was a great job, I slept on sundays behind the counter and got all the free rentals I could want, plus a 50% discount! Needless to say, I became quite the little shut in for a few weeks. Anyways, my bestest boyfriend came to work with me at the free clinic and he and I would hide away lunch hours talking shit. His boyfriend was such a hottie and I had the biggest crush on him. One day, behind the closed door of my office I jokingly told his boyfriend that I wanted to fuck him up the ass with my strap-on (disclaimer- I do not own a strap-on, I just think they are pretty) and show him how it is really done. I was joking, I really was- I am a sick monkey, but I have no desire to plug any man with a big hunk of rubber. I just don't... But some old bitch walking past my office overheard it and ran to management. I thought it was the funniest thing I had ever heard. I am crude about 90% of the time- why was this one thing that I said behind a closed door, while on my lunch break the newest and biggest controversy. No tolerance policies suck ass. Well the incident got me a fat slap on the wrist and a push towards the door. Sad was I, and I ended up leaving after a couple of months and went full time at the Castle. At least there was a large selection of fuckable options at the porn store. Ok, not really, but I still got the 50% discount, I made twice the money, I got to make out with Chasey Lain and I kinda outted Rob Halford when he rented Young Thai Boys. All in all- it was a good trade.
Moral of the Story- Words like ass, fuck and strap-on are all considered offensive in the workplace. Who knew??? Lesson learned....
13 comments:
Wow, that's really good to know. Thanks for the lesson. I'll try to remember it! ;)
Great story....I was glued to my screen the whole way through....
Hey, you might like my sister-inlaw's site (and definitely the comments there--it gets pretty wild...): agirlhasgottoeat.blogspot.com. I don't have her blogrolled either, if you get my drift....Tell her I sent you, and you'll be treated like gold... ;).
I think I might build an altar to you now. All I need is an 8x10 glossy, some hair and a little blood if you can spare it. I have paypal.
I used to work in a different area at my current job. We're talking oilfield..macho shit. Anyway, when I was there, one guy told another dude jokingly to "suck my dick" and the guy went to HR on him for sexual harassment. Funniest thing ever. Just made him look like a total ween.
You made out with Chasey Lain?!?!
You are a shroom-goddess!!! I could get lost in Chasey's eyes easily, she's so dreamy. :-)
Yeah, the Chasey Lain story is pretty hot...interesting career path, Shroomy...
Oh for what could have been- a life time of regret.Instead.
You can talk dirty most places but I do believe that the workplace isn't one of them.
You could talk dirty on my blog- You definitely would not get fired!
Ho hum, fancying homo's probably isn't the way fORWARLife is a kitchen on fire.what to save what to leave behind. who will you leave to burn? fuck it I'm losing grip on my train of thought. your post was cool.
laters
peace out my crazy freakazoid
like peace to the max
and no salaciousness-ok?!
Way back in 1996, the degenerates at the Castle loved me and moved me to marketing and promotions. I handled new merchandising, autograph signings and feature dancers. It was a fun gig- I went to the AVN awards a couple times. I partied with Jenna, Chasey, Janine, and became BFF with Asia. Drunken moments led to a few indiscretions....
That was a long time ago, I am a good girl now. (snicker, snicker.....)
i love castle. the one on van buren that looks like one of those creepy stores just makes my day. i always did think fascinations was just too clean and pretty and "Normal" for me to handle.
by the way... "Thats sexual harassment and I don't have to take it!" ~Sexual Harassment Training Video
hah!
Once a guy at work has testicular cancer. He said it in his own e-mail, "It's in my right nut"
He had surgery and was fine, but we were doing this joke thing for everyone - making cards with co-workers faces on them... This was an actual job assignment.
Well, I made one for this guy, putting the body of a person who has just been hit in the 'nads, with his face, sucking in his cheeks - and I put "Not So Nut Cracker Suite"
Well - I was told I could NOT give that to him.
Something about being an insensitive bitch or something...
Imagine that.
old bitches who run to management to "tell on people" need to check themselves before they wreck themselves.
You think strap-ons are 'pretty'?! You've gone up in my estimations monkey!
Great story. Can't wait for the leaked video. But have a question... Who is Chasey Lain??? Shows my age, eh?
I'll bet there are some "other" shroom-pics toiling on the Internet to be found.
Chasey- scroll down to Things I have Learned from Porn- she is the hottie with the blue eyes on the box cover.
I'll never tell........
We live, we learn, we get porn. It's all good...it's almost like you went full circle in a way. Free clinic to porn store...where all the fun begins.
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