Number 999- I hate New Years Resolutions!!!
Total bullshit!! I mean really who keeps with that shit anyways. When you are ready and wanting to make a change, you do... Plain and simple... None of this I am gonna do this or that- just because a new year has started. Make changes because they are needed, wanted or warranted. Not because of a silly date on the calendar. Today, the gym was packed with a thousand and one 40 something year old women, decked out in the brand new work out gear they most likely got as gifts or with their shiny gift cards that came as added bonus in the standard last years Christmas card that everyone picked up at a whopping 75% off sale and saved for a year... whatever the case may be.... Point of this bitch session is the pack of overweight heifers filled my body pump to capacity and because I really needed that extra 5 minutes on the tread mill I was late, and ended up in the very far back behind a saggy ass that was right in my face every lunge and every squat. Sooo close was her ass to my face I now know that she wears a nice size 9 in Hanes Her Way granny panties and seriously needs to embrace a little thing called feminine wash. Yikes, I will be glad when the heifers tire of their new found resolve and retreat to the couches that have worn and shaped to the roundness of their ass as they pop Little Debbie cakes to the welcoming sound of "Come on Down" as Bob Barker asks them to overprice retail items to the nearest hundred. Or at least don't all show up at the exact same.... space it out a little geez....
Number 999- I hate New Year's Resolutions....
7 comments:
Oh, God, I fucking hate them, too. I totally agree with you; just make the fucking change if you want to. Ouch on the saggy ass in front of you, though... man...
You are a wicked, witty, word-wielding goddess!
The plump ones will resume their coach-potato positions soon enough, having been embarrassed by your curvaceous figure -- the likes of which they know they will never in this lifetime or without radical surgery attain.
You make working out seem so glamourous.
Oh just admit it Shrooms, having ass in your face (saggy or not) got the better of you and you began to wonder about how squishy it would feel in your hands ... HA, just kidding love. Here's to hoping that you have a nice firm ass in front of you the next time you're late.
This is why I would never belong to a gym.
Thank you, Bow-Flex.
Not that I use it much, but I don't have to fight my way through a buncha fat tossers to get to it if I decide that I want to.
I stop taking new year resolutionlike at least 5 years ago, cuz you usualy don't stick to it!! And me either, don't know what is the point of every one to go in the gym the 3rd of January!!
Poor thing, having to see that big ass in your face!! The worst, but at the same time funny, thing I had to endure while at the gym, was that quiet guy that was so damn serious while looking to himself doing weight!! Was hard to not laught!!
Samurai Frog- yikes indeed, it wasn't pretty that is all I have to say....
Tumuli- how flattering, however, I battle my own demons and weight and eating disorders top the list. I work damn hard to stay in shape without loosing my sanity. There was a time after my divorce- I got real seditary and pitiful so I applaud those wanting to make a change but c'mon lets keep it real- newbies and fatties to the back, and spandex is not even cute on super models so just cuz they make it doesn't mean you must buy it!!!
Becca- well it ain't like it was in Perfect for Jamie Lee Curtis but it ain't bad either....
Sherry- mmmm, that made me want to vomit... thanks...
Mob- the gym isn't for everyone that is for sure, I hate people counting the minutes I am on a machine, watching my reps on weights and those that over crowd the classes!
Jill- you almost forgot the ones that hand deliver those silent but deadlys while working up a serious run on the tread mill!!! gym cliches got em all!!!
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