Things I learned from Porn:
1.) How to give a mean look during a blow job that will plant you in his mind forever.
2.) All those facial cum shots help maintain a great complexion.
3.) It is fun to play with saliva.
4.) That sometimes boxcovers are decieving. (they all look so pretty on the box, what the hell happens...)
5.) Never let Rocco Siffredi get a hold of your ass, you may never walk the same again.
6.) That we can thank porn for the brazilian wax, gone are the days of the hairy bush.
7.) Be warned ladies, all the hot men are actually in gay porn.
8.) Virgins really seem to enjoy experiencing their first time on camera, usually with some forty year old man with a pony tail and almost always up the butt. (who knew?)
9.) Hot white girls skydiving into a prison yard will almost always end up in a gang bang.
10.) Hot white girls driving into the wrong neighborhood will almost always wind up in a gang bang.
11.) It is important to tip your delivery driver, repairman, pool boy, ect... with the standard blow job.
12.) That amatuer porn is really gross, c'mon people. If your gross and you know it, cover it up.
13.) That porn makes for great background soundtrack during a serious "love-making" session. It's like f**king in stereo.
14.) That the pocket rocket will indeed burn your clit off.
15.) Well, last but not least size does seem to matter and the size of you wad is pretty important to.
Let me know any valuable lessons that you have learned that I may have forgotten....
8 comments:
I guess I've learned that fist fucking looks awfully painful.
Reese, good one.... yeah, that looks nuts..
I've learned that people will do almost anything for a buck and if I keep repeating to myself, "It's not the size of the wand that makes the rabbit come out of the hat." I almost believe it.
love
Where do you find pornography? I've never seen it.
Not really a lesson, but just thought i try to make you laught.
I live in a french place, and some people at the corner video store when to rent some porn. They ask to the tellers if the had french speaking porn!!! Like it matters if they are moaning in french, english or spanish, sound all the same to me
No doubt Jill! Although German porn is rather gross and it just sounds gross..
Any of you ever been to beautifulagony.com?? Very interesting. Just the faces of various men and women as they diddle themselves to orgasm. The cum faces are hilarious.
I already knew fact 9.
They teach you this in 8th grade over here.
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