Relationships

Well after bouncing between a couple of ex-boyfriends/husbands/lovers for the past couple of years I have decided that it may actually be time to make a new start. Time to expand my little circle of "friends" Ughhh.... I both love and hate new starts.

Looking back at some of the infamous ex's:
(in case any of you love's are reading this- this is no particular order)

The DirtyBoy- Very cute semi-pro baseball player- preppy, nicely dressed, well groomed, liked expensive restaurants, generous- had his room divided by chicken wire, the giant boa constrictor occupied the other side. House full with an abundant of cockroaches, empty slurpy cups and a mother that walked around in her nasty undies, regardless of time of the day it was.

The Rockstar- Sexy, Dangerous, always in Leather. I loved him like crazy. Watched his career skyrocket from obscurity to Headbangers Ball, it was exciting. But in all honestly, all that leather made his balls sweat so bad, that he really stunk down there. It made it nearly impossible to blow him. He considered that a serious character flaw on my part.

The Hippie- Dreadlocks, Pothead, College Boyfriend. He challenged my political views with his constant rambling. He provided me with serious amounts of herb and was responsible for keeping me in a drug induced state for the first 2 years of college. I was an art and photography major, he seemed like the right accessory at the time. Funny, can't remember his name...

The Damaged Goods: Polar opposite from me, after a long line of creative types he seemed like a nice change. I was wrong... It was all big facade, he was all the negatives of all my past loves personified. Every cliche-believe me it happened. Many years later, and a couple of cute kids had to realize this one was really, really bad for me.

The Aging Rockstar- My one and only seriously older man. I loved hearing his stories about the good old days, and he played and partied with all the Gods of the 70's. But there was a 25 year age difference and yeah, even with the lights off sometimes it was hard to ignore the saggy balls and the flabby ass. He was the coolest though!

The Annoying Dresser- I always hated that no matter what we were doing he wore a suit. Drove me nuts! Bowling=Suit, Out for beer and a game of darts=Suit, Movie=Suit, Ice Skating=Suit. It annoyed me soo much I broke up with him over it. Petty, petty girl, I know.

The Porn Addict- Should have known, duh... I was working in a porn store and he was a regular renter but he was soo hot, I had too. Our relationship was pretty much focused on sex, sex and more sex but after he convinced me to go to a swingers club with him and within 5 seconds he had his dick in another woman that I wasn't even sure was a woman- I was out of there.

The Marrying Type- First date he told me he loved me, he asked me to marry him after the second date, he introduced me to his parents on the third date. He cried when I told him I wanted to slow this down on the fourth date. I kept the ring. It was pretty..

The Gangster- He earned 6 figures playing proffesional football, yet he stole my money and pawned my stuff. He would start random fights, call me from jail with bullshit stories and even bring girls back to my house when he thought I wasn't home. He would fly me out for games, forget me at the airport or leave me in a hotel by myself for days. He was the hung like a horse and some of the best sex I ever had but I must have had some serious self esteem issues to have lasted the 3 months that I did.

Well, of couse there was few more, mostly random 19 year olds that were good for a lay here and there but none that I can really remember having any redeeming value.

So now it is time to shut all those doors and begin again. I watched that show Deadliest Catch the other day- I think this time I want a hot Alaska Fisherman. We'll see....