So after giving all this relationship stuff some serious thought, I pondered what do I want out of someone in the future. So for all my future suitors here are some do's and don'ts so that you don't end up just another nameless head on a stick.Don't
*Don't call me Bitch (unless it is while we are fucking)
*Don't leave me waiting for hours, days, months on end- I will trade you in for a newer model
*Don't have sex with any of my family members, friends, co-workers, or pets (that is just so uncool)
*Don't be a lousy lay- I am 30 now and have no patience for sort of crap
*Don't be indecisive- nothing is worse than a man who has no idea where he wants to go or what he wants to do
*Don't lie- liars suck
*Don't be boring- We only live once, gotta have some fun!
*Don't you dare ask me, ever, ever "Are you wearing that??" - I will wear whatever the fuck I want with no fucking judgment from you!
*Don't walk like something is up your ass- ugghhh- that is so ugly
*Don't be an asshole. Please, I am so done with assholes!
Do
*Do love to watch lame movies and cartoons and misc reality shows
*Do have a cock like Jeff Stryker- or if not be willing to buy me his lifesize dildo (I know he has been pluggin a couple hundred manbutts but he is a force to be reconded with)
*Do think that I am super cool and ultra sexy (c'mon at least try...)
*Do have tons of money, if not, make damn sure you got enough personality to make up for it
*Do have some sort of goals and aspirations (something, is better than nothing)
*Do give me tons of good loving every day, or at least everyday I don't have a migraine or a pulled hamstring, or cramps or an allergic reaction to any of the things I am allergic to.
*Do be yourself- provided yourself fits within the listed parameters
*Do be creative and have a sense of humor (sick, silly, wacky, -yeah any of those)
*Do love to laugh
*Do be patient (I am a piece of work!)
10 comments:
you seem way too picky for me... i mean seriously... i can't bang any of your family members??? that is just going too far...
Trust me, you wouldn't want to anyways. If you must I will give you your choice of any of the pets.
I'm absolutely frightened at both of your head shots there. Really.
I want that accessory for my bike!
Sounds attainable....Don't settle for anything less, k, Shroom?! ;)
Dale- heh, heh, heh. They don't make those in North America, little something I picked up overseas.
Haley-O - Thanks girl! Don't worry. I won't!
"Do have tons of money, if not, make damn sure you got enough personality to make up for it"
Finally, someone speaks the truth about this issue. Guys who are lame AND have no money .... fuuuuuck. They're the worst!
picky...MUCH!
whatevs, picky means: high standards!
or alone forever.
but either way...whatevs.
I suppose fingering your dog is a no-no?
This scared me just a little bit
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