Ways to Avoid Having Sex with Assholes - part 5

Fire Your Pimp
I had to shoot the band Extreme for a local paper, it was one of the lamest shoots I had ever endured. The lead singer, Gary Cherone has absolutely no stage presence and is almost impossible to shoot. He was one of these people who really needed to stand in front of a mirror and practice his heavy metal grimace- cuz his was a mess.. Every shot, all I could think was this guy is bozo, the clown... This was before the whole More Than Words phenomena, which honestly I never understood, it wasn't a good song.. I lasted the shoot, packed up and was out the door, no time for mingling with a crowd I couldn't respect for showing up and a band that I thought sucked. As I leave, I run into a guy friend and he says lets go grab some drinks and shoot the shit. A couple shots of Goldschläger, a couple beers and a couple rounds of pool later, my friend, says that he knows of a party and could we go stop by for just a second. I am buzzing, my mood is better, I'm game.. Maybe there will be some hot boys for me to grind on... We step onto the elevator of the Hilton, heading up and walk down the hall. I know I am buzzing but damn it is quiet down this hall for a party. Room 625 (yeah I remember) knock on the door, but it is already ajar. We go in, and low and behold who is sitting on the bed in just a towel- fucking Gary Cherone. I smirk and look over at my "friend/pimp" and ask, "Ummm soo is this a joke, or am I for him?" He sheepishly looks down, shuffling his feet, "Babe, he thought you were cute...." My buzz left me soo quick I think I saw the curtains flutter, I snorted, "Ohh hell mutherfucking NO!" and I spun around and left the room. That was the end of that friendship and I hope ol Gary jacked himself off to sleep.....

As a side note: When Van Halen took Gary on as their new lead singer I took my Van Halen autographed drum sticks, and pix and gave them to the local record store....