Ladies Be Warned....

Men fit into several categories:

Men I admire and respect
Men I want to fuck
Men that I have yet to meet but want to fuck
Men that are just friends
Men that I have fucked and I wouldn't mind fucking again
Men that are assholes

Here is my day and the men I met:

Asshole #1- The fuckwad sitting in the back of the pick-up truck full of trash.
I am the red light, minding my own business, dancing a bit to the radio, when I notice this ass sitting in the back of the pick up in front of me trying to make eye contact. I give them old, raised eyebrow, acknowlegement and in response he does the little V for victory symbol, flicking his tongue back and forth in between, as if to simulate a little oral action. What the fuck, I thought that was only reserved for Poison concerts??? I take my lit cigarette, roll down my window and flick it in the back of the pick up truck which was full of wood, bags of dead leaves, and what looked like barrels of gasoline or oil. As the Home Depot bag of leaves starts to ignite, I take my left turn and wave. The fucker is panicking trying to put the fire out, ohh well I can't be bothered I am on my way to the gym.

Asshole #2- The Sweaty Pervy Bastard at the Gym
At the gym working the ol treadmill, watching a little Laguna Beach cutie pies and I see out of the corner of my eye, one of those type of guys approaching. By one of those types I mean, headband, tight tank and some way too short running shorts. He huffs a little hello, and jumps on the machine next to me. He is breathing heavy in about 20 seconds and sweating up a storm. He keeps looking over trying to start a little convo, but hell, I can't be bothered, I just bought a March Jacobs dress that is a size too small and I got goals man. I am pretty happy with my headphones on, but I feel his eyes burning a hole in me. I turn and the sweaty bastard is totally fixated on my chest. Ok, I forgot the sports bra today and I got the girls stuffed in a demi, so I know they are bobbin pretty but c'mon take a peak and move on. I ignore him, getting more engrossed in my show, but next commercial break I look over and his eyes are on the girls like he has never seen a tit in his life. I bend down, and give a quick hello, he smiles and turns away with a bit of a blush. Two seconds later he is at it again, it eventually broke me, and I made the choice time to go.. I stop my machine, and reach over and slam the red emergency stop button on his sending him to a giant face plant on the floor. Fucker.... I step over him and off to get my nails done...

Asshole #3- The touchy feely Lesi at the BP. (not a man, but close enough)
Every time I go in to pay for gas, and feed the addiction I get greeted by the same butchy bugged eyed lesbian. I like girls, I like hot girls, I think I might even consider a little girly action if the payoff was good enough. But I hate this thing. She always tried to stroke my hand when she gives me change, it makes me cringe. Today as she hand-raped my palm, I slapped her. I just got a bit carried away I suppose, but I halled off and slapped her chubby rudy face. Not hard to enough to carry an assault charge but hard enough I will have to find a new place to get gas. Fuck an A, that one was soo convient to.

That was my day... just a bunch of assholes.... where are all the good men? (or hot girls??)
Are you wondering what category you fit into???