I Flunked Drama Class
Right, how does anyone flunk drama? Yeah, I know, I suppose if you show up and at least try to act you should at least get a C. Even if you suck ass in a major way. So how did I flunk, well it wasn't for a lack of acting ability I am just about the most dramatic person you would ever meet so it wasn't that. I went to class all shiny and excited so it has nothing to do with attendance. I did however have an old crotchety professor who truly did not acknowledge my artistic genius. In my efforts to be innovative and different I may have freaked out most of the class. Just a little.... It may have started when I wrote a screenplay for a scene I wanted to do about the birth of the Elephant Man. In theory it should have been really cool but I suppose the birth cannel that I built complete with thinned out jello afterbirth and the nude colored body stocking that I wore was taking it a bit far. But the look on the teacher's and class's face was priceless. Maybe it was the pantomime that I did to Mettallica's Orion. I acted out a heroin overdose complete with seizures and me vomiting all over the stage. Which resulting in half the class walking out in disgust and fear. I don't know, I really felt like I was challenging myself as an actress. All my life I wanted to make it as a serious soap opera star, and with that big fat F, I felt defeated. So fuck you Mr. Theodore at Glendale Community College. Fuck you- for squashing my dreams and making me doubt my talent.
12 comments:
Aww - fuck 'em.
Your wonderful theatrical abilities lie intact.
Long live Drama Queens!!
You wouldn't happen to have video of that pantomime of 'Orion', would you? LOL
People like that have no business being professors. The head of my broadcasting school program certainly didn't 'get' any of my bits or shenanigans but never attempted to bridle me.
My art teacher never failed anyone. Even this kid that rarely showed up to class, he got a D-. :)
I remember him giving me this very stern look and telling me, "You have no place in theater dear, perhaps the circus but not theater" No shit, I hate theater! I wanted to be on the Soaps. I can give a mean lingering glance and have a killer deadpan stare into space. Teachers like him are jerks. Ohh well, what ya gonna do....
So what classes did you excel in? I'm scared.
I was suspended from Middle School for running through the Home Economics class screaming "IT'S MADE OF...PEOPLE!! YOU'RE EATING PEOPLE!!!"
yournamehere - that's funny, I've been Soylent Green referencing lately. Maybe I should get around to see the movie sometime?
OOO...these sound like fantastic ideas! This reminds me of my friend's idea for "Guerilla Theater" in which you go to boring plays, and then you and your friends act out an interesting (and seemingly "real") scene in the audience. I could have used an Elephant Man birth interruption during The Baby Dance.
acting. Oh dear. "We've got a live one!" why does everyone in america wanna act- it's hard and boring and when you do finally get famous people rip the shit out of you and you end up topping yourself.
I'm sure you'll thank your teacher in the end; I can see it now. You'll be standing there in your old classroom with tears streaming down your cheeks, his eyes warm and glistening with self-satisfaction and pride in what you've acheived because of him.
Oh, I can imagine the dead poets' society music playing too...
Wonderful stuff. Really.
Ha! I think your scenes sound awesome.
I had a drama teacher give me a D once because I refused to let him jack-me-off in a hottub while on a drama class trip to Ashland.
Later that year he got fired for sexual harassment. Hooray for karma.
Although it didn't work fast enough to help my GPA. Fucking Bastard.
love
Dale- believe it or not Art and English. I know you can't tell by the remedial drawings or short paragraphs of mindless crap but I always did excellent in those classes.
Younamehere- shit, I'm scared of canibals, like really scared. What kind of school did you go to?
Violet-I got a million of them...
Merlin-ohh no If I was a movie star I would be loved and adored by all. I would be gracious, and would fully take advantage of all the free stuff, all the designer clothing, and drive tricked out cars. There would be no regret, ever.... Are you kidding?
Unknown-You teacher was an asshole! Man, that sucks.
I bet your drama teacher was just jealous...! And, no, I can't believe anyone can flunk drama! WTF?!
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